Night Before Christmas
by Trench Mouth
Summary: One Shot. TwoBit gets up to read a Night before christmas infront of the school... Short but Fun.. Language warning.


Disclaimer : I don't own the Outsiders.

Note: I know it's only September, But I just got this idea so I went with it...Enjoy.

The Night Before Christmas.

The was a Christmas pageant at the High-School and Junior classed had picked a volunteer to read ' A night before Christmas' and Guess what? Two-Bit volunteered. He couldn't wait. He was looking forward to it all week..But the day it was supposed to be, he forgot about and got drunk. He had gotten a drive to the school with Darry, Sodapop and Ponyboy. The others came, too, to see Two-Bit on the stage. Almost the whole right side of the auditorium was filled with Greasers wanting to cheer him on.

When the vice-Principal introduced Two-Bit, he staggered on to the stage and up to the microphone...

" 'Twas the nightmare before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even Micky Mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that that fat bastard Santa Clause soon would bring them some beers;

The greasers were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of half beaten Socs danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my jeans,

Had just fallen asleep on a washing machine,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like The Flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up my lunch.

The moon on the breast..hehehe, breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

With a little fat driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be that bastard St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now,Ponyboy! now, Johnnycake and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! On you Burmley boys, you stupid fat bastards!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now bash away! crash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each fucking hoof.

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney the fat fucker came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his fat back,

And he looked like a damned peddler when he opened his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The butt of a week he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a ugly face and a big fat belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old bastard,

And I laughed when I saw him, cause he looked like a dork;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk..I never found out who that other guy was,

Anyway,he put his finger inside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas, you little shits, and to all a good-night."

The whole right side of the auditorium stood up and cheer and applause. Two-Bit tryed to take a bow and he fell off of the stage. Again there was an uproar of cheers, applause and laughter. When Two-Bit finally managed to get back to his feet, he took a bow and made his way back stage.

End. :)


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